|
i feel like i've been slacking my ass off these few weeks. i haven't been productive at all, i go to violin lesson unprepared, my study table is still messy as hell, and i haven't made any progress in the warcraft map i'm making. maybe i will start now.
just went to play badminton with awesome people earlier today and enjoyed myself alot. Though i'm not good in badminton at all we had quite a nice bit of stress in all our games and that just makes the game a whole lot more enjoyable. me and my partner CHUA KAI MIN had a lot of chemistry, and it made the game enjoyable too.
anyway, i really feel that it's a shame that secondary school is over. as a primary school kid i was happy to go to secondary school but now i just feel neutral, i don't mind staying longer, yet i know that i am forced to go forward in the fast paced life singaporeans generally lead. there is little time for us to relax, to try, make errors, and learn from them, little time to stop and notice the beauties around us. will this make our lives better? i hope i keep in touch with my friends even when i'm 30+, or better still, keep in touch for my whole life. it'll be quite cool. imagine if you start a company with individual talents and they are all your friends? ok maybe it only happens in movies... but we can try!
after spending 3 weeks pondering and thinking and wondering and asking for opinions i think i have made a choice and i believe it is the right choice. i noticed a trend, when i asked guys for their opinions almost all said NO. wait i think it's all. but when i asked girls most of them said YES. and so this is proof that i am a guy, because i've been saying NO all this while. but i guess such choices are meant to be made myself, because i know the situation for myself the best. and girls probably know how other girls normally think like, so there must be a reason why they said YES. actually i think i know the reason too, but maybe i have been lying to myself all this while? and i think the answer in my head is YES. maybe it is NO, i'm just forcing myself to say YES. but i think it's YES. so let it be YES. i don't know if that's what i want, but i know that that's what's good for me. because if it was NO, i know it will be a suicide mission, where you use a feather to pick a lock.
断了的弦，再怎么连
我的感觉，你已听不见
你的转变，像断掉的弦
再怎么接音都不对
你的改变我能够分辨~
我沉默
你的话也不多
我们之间少了什么不说 哎哟~
maybe, maybe my only escape is to bury myself in work, bury myself in my hobbies, then i will slowly forget. Why is it so hard? Throughout these 10 months (yes, i shall be explicit now since no one visits this blog), there have been several times i said that. but that feeling slowly creeps back each time. will this time be real? i am not sure. hahahahahahha why am i even thinking so much? haha it doesen't help me at all.
and...
while cleaning my house, i came across loads of pri sch stuff, and then i remembered how my pri school classes didn't like me and also (i didn't need to come across anything to remember) how i am not liked in secondary school too. haha, i know i'm irritating and stuffs. over time since i figured that out (last last year), i've been trying to change, bit by bit. i can't say that i have changed, i can't judge myself. but i do hope i treat my friends better now, and i really honestly hope that my good friends, and even best friends treat me like one too, and i am not living off a facade, like i had been.
i know you can't help it. i'll just let it be like i am now and soon i'll never bother you, or be able to bother you again. just give me time.
today finally started cleaning the house, haha so behind schedule, but it's alright i guess. at this rate we might do quite abit still. haha, and while taking out the valuable stuff from an old computer... decided to keep this beauty.
yep, hahaaaha kk don't say what nerd or what i know la HAHAHA but it really is cool, at least to me lor. old computers leh! damn, it's really interesting to compare them to the more modern cpu.
hahahah kkkk yeah yeah nerd whatever hahahaha
Yes, i completed my first flash game! hehehe it's quite obvious where is it. although no one comes here, that game'll definitely stay, at least it'll keep myself entertained. it really is quite challenging i must say. and reward goes to people who actually try hard to finish the game... what reward i shan't say.
actually, coding all these stuff actually IS more entertaining than playing rpgs, or any type of games. perhaps only the computer interests me. ugh.
realised how dumb i was. how naive. what was i doing. was i really blinded? was i in a rage? i don't know. anyway, it's already over, it's time to move on, and anyway that wasn't really a bad thing, it just ended the game early, maybe it's better for me, and maybe even you. in fact, i realised i already knew it was impossible then, i was just kidding myself, just surpressing that feeling. yes, i admit we're completely different people. i failed but at least i tried, and i have time now to forget.
guess i'll have to say
WOOOOO HAHAHAHAH OMG I AM SUPER HIGH NOW HAHAHHA YES I CAN HEAR CLEARLY YES FINALLY SINCE PRELIM2 ENDED I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT PROPER HEARING OMG HAHAHAH ALL THE MUISC SOUNDS SO NICE AHAHAHHAHAHAH SORRY THIS IS A SPAM POST BUT YEAH I LIKE HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
SOMEMORE DURING THE CLEANING PROCESS, SO SHIOK, THE FEELING OF THE WATER PUSHING OUT THE DAMN WAX. SOMEMORE GOT 4 NURSES SURROUNDING ME DURING THE THING HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA OK I AM RETARDED HAHAHAHAHAH
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
exactly 1 more month to Olevels. lol. today shall be my last day on the computer, my last day writing my map. shall continue 2 months later. haha. i guess i will miss all these when i'm out there fighting a civil war between myself and my brain.
long time since i've posted in this blog. i had so much to post, but i gave it a miss. guess it's the correct choice. anyway, posting this post will probably make me feel anxious to prepare. but anyway. this is the last day i'll be on the computer. or so i hope.
and finally i hope that this will not be the final post on my blog, that i will update this after O's are over. and i will try not to be so hostile. and try to pass my grade 6 yangqin exam! ok bye!
it has been a really really long time since i last posted on this blog. how much has happened since, i can't really say. i just can say that i finally found myself. haven't been so lame until recently... i also know clearly what my aims are now. yet as i see things more clearly, the cloudier the image of other people get. and although i feel that i have grown closer to many of my close friends in this period, i don't know whether this feeling is just on my side or is it real. haha, that is so pessimistic. of course it is real! no more stuff about this.
i want 60 days to pass quickly. i know it will, but i really can't wait already. i have so much plans on what to do, that listing them here will take too long. and most of them will sound quite weird or not be understood to people. maybe cos i'm a classic.nerd(). see, that was weird right!
don't take me as a punching bag or target just to release your stress. cause i'm human and i'm not exactly what you call nice.
but....
I STILL CAN'T WAIT FOR 14NOV TO COME WOO.
many people have told me off for this habbit of posting short posts. but i really can't help it. i'd have to either delete my blog, or i would continue posting short posts, and making it a dead blog that no one visits. obviously, i chose the latter. i would love to post long posts, but i bet the long posts i posts will be boring. example: "hey this was quite an exciting weekend for me, i did 2 out of 6 of the oral conversation practices, my dad told me he was interested in buying a motherboard to replace the super old com i have at home. i brushed my teeth 4 times in this weekend. i played about 2 hours of violin." do you need an example 2? no. so actually, this blog is already dead, the short posts i make is more like a "note to self" but if i am fortunate enough to have a few readers who read occasionally then i'd be glad to make longer posts. so, if you read this, tag at the cbox! and i want to thank DanLing for motivating me to make this quite long post of not very useful information and i would also like to thank you in advance if you are reading this.
and also, the O level CL exam is just on thursday, and i am the least prepared for it. omg wtf am i doing i know i am not expecting to use my CL but what if? i should give it a best shot. yet for the last day of holidays, i am here slacking away. what a waste. omg. i need to buck up right now. 4 days away, guess i'll be shuddering infront of the examiner. i can half expect this to happen that day - 阅读篇章：“这天，小明和女朋友一起去酒店。。。” 考官： 你的名字是？ 我：“这天，小明。。。”
wondering aimlessly around the net. i really really really have no motivation to study. i've done almost all the crap i can do except homework.
I wish that anyone would just talk to me now.
the clock's ticking, i'm ticking in front of the computer.
wtf. problematic people.
so many dreams, so many aspirations, all building castles in the air. stop dreaming, get back to work.
after playing around for 30 mins, i finally made my template compatible with IE.this compatability game has to end. they should just he zuo and make things easier for everyone, especially coders, and especially especially the newbies like me :(
|
